Each Day Is a Constant Battle

Fighting Past Abuse in my Head One Day at a Time

Stop_child_abuseThis is another one of my poems based on my past trauma. I wrote it 07/12/2016 while I was going through some difficult flashbacks and trying to get my mind straight. I haven’t shared it with anyone until today. I often wondered why I blocked out my childhood memories and couldn’t get many of them straight. I still have bits and pieces that come back to haunt me every once in a while. When I saw a therapist she said it was because I’m starting to meditate and it’s opening my mind up. Most of my vivid memories don’t really show a series of events until I was nine years old. Now I know why. It’s tough, but I’m a fighter! There are so many memories I’ve had to face that I blocked out in one way or another. I used to try self-medicating by getting drunk every night to the point of blacking out. PTSD is no joke!

Each Day Is a Constant Battle

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Each day is a constant battle–
To many, it sounds cliché,
But that “oh so familiar” feeling
Makes me hit my knees and pray.
I dreamed of a knight in armor.
Yes, that’s an old fairy tale too,
But what I didn’t know is
That dream was squashed by you!
You told me that you loved me!
You made me believe you cared,
But you left me dark and lonely–
A little girl who’s scared.
When I go our in public
I feel as if I’m lost.
I’m sad to even know you!
I hope my loss was worth the cost!
Your display of affection
Left me sick and weak.
Broken and alone–
I don’t think before I speak–
Copyright © 2017 [Carrie Pottberg]. All Rights Reserved.

 

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